So I have one week left of work, five days, 35 hours. How the hell did that happen and how can I make it stop? Let me start by saying thanks to anyone that has been reading this blog of mine all year. I am sorry I was not as dedicated to it as I would have liked to been but it really was about find time to get everything in. I entered in this year with so many goals it was impossible to accomplish them all. Despite not accomplishing them all, I would say this year has been a great success. I am completely in love with my job and the kids I work with. I went and picked up a group of them who had been at an overnight camp for a week and one of my favorite girls screamed my name from like 20 feet away and came running into my arms. I can not imagine leaving them so soon. These kids who come from such crappy situations overall are such adorable, positive, loving kids. The other day on the bus ride back we were talking about a VH ten year reunion and I started talking to them about where they see themselves and it almost brought me to tears. They want to be construction workers, lawyers, teachers etc. They want to have a family but not to young (that is key esp. on the West Side) and they talk about college. I have faith that they can do it but it is going to be a difficult road and I just pray that they get there. I pray that the environment does not become too overbearing and they get roped into the drugs, violence, or teen pregnancy. I hope that I have helped to give them a little bit of motivation to realize these dreams can be a reality, they just need to work hard and keep focused.
I am also going to miss a lot of the people I work with. While it has been challenging and many times I have wanted to scream, many of the VH staff is wonderful people. Chris and Nolasco especially have been my two rocks. They have dealt with my bitching, they have pointed me in the right direction when I was not sure where to go or who to ask and they have been all together just great guys. I enjoy all the time I have had to talk to them on a one on one basis and really get to know them and what they are about. Nolasco offers such great words of wisdom and offers wonderful stories about his life. While Chris is such a funny laid back guy who I can talk aboout silly things like sports or the weather or much more important things like our community struggles or family life. Then there are the ladies- Cynda, Bridgett,and Tanisha. All wonderful people with whom I have had some great conversations with and shared my frustrations when things don't always go as planned. Finally, there is all the new Americorps staff with whom I adore esp. Laura and Sam. These girls have provided me female support after a year of mostly males. They are close to my age and full of energy and laughs. I am really thankful to have them these last two months and I feel much more confident leaving with them there. All in all work really is amazing. It is tiring, it is stressful but damn I am going to miss it.
Community life on the other hand has been a little rough. I would not take back this year ever. I have enjoyed living with these people and I have gotten extremely close to some of them. Overall, it has helped me to learn a lot about myself. Such as I am OCD about random things such as two of the same thing being opened at the same time, or the fridge being dirty, or the trash not being taken out. I have also learned that I am really a people person and love being around others but it is okay to be on my own. More then okay, it is crucial I get some me time to reflect, pray, read or journal. This time is what calms me down and really lets me process my day.I have also learned my flaws and I am working on them. Community living has been a great stepping stone to the real world, unfortunately I will not be going into the real world for quite some time ha. Still, it has been helpful for me to learn a lot about myself and how to maintain positive relationships with people.
I have so much more I could write about but I am tired and it is late. I will write more in the next few weeks as my year ends and I start a whole new journey. Wish me luck.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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