Wow, so it has officially been over two months since I arrived in Syracuse scared and unsure of what to expect. Last week for prayer I hung up all the goals we created as a group back the first few days of getting to know each other. First,it really made me miss the Costa Rican volunteers because they helped us create the goals and it was done when we were one big group of ten. It also allowed me to really reflect on what I am doing here in Syracuse, what I want to get out of this year, and what I should do after this year. This year so far has been a time of adjusting, to a new city, new friends, a new job etc. and it has definitely had its ups and downs but overall going well. However, I came into this year with high expectations for myself and therefore I think I need to start really working on living simply and to challenge myself so that I can get all that this year can provide. With this being said, I am going to start trying to work on just my stipend each month and not tap into my savings unless some type of emergency comes up. I also want to work on how I use my free time. I want to read more,start going to the gym, write in this blog more often so I do not have to write novels each entry but instead short and hopefully more interesting blogs etc etc. While I say this things come up and I may not go for a run every day or read a book a week but if I get a chapter done, I am making process. This year is really helping me to appreciate the small things like a conversation with a housemate, a short walk, or a phone call from an old friend and these things are what makes this year so great. I have the time to do it.
On a different note, I have really been thinking about what I want to do next year. Before coming to Syracuse, I was torn between higher ed or politics, and now while those things still interest me I love the work i am doing with the kids esp. the children with disabilities, something I did not have experience with before this year. I do not know what all this means other then I am going to have to do some serious discerning and praying to decide what the next step is.
So speaking of work, it has been rough lately. Not my children, I adore them esp the preschoolers that run at me and rap themselves around my legs when I enter the classroom to say hello, telling me they missed me, they love me or that i am pretty ha, it is surely a greeting I could never get sick of. It is more of issues with co-workers, and paperwork. A little bit of a communication issue with some of the people I work with but we are working on it so hopefully that will improve. It is more the paperwork that involved me having to choose which families to sponsor this year for Christmas, which was almost an impossible task because I feel like everyone in my program could use the extra help. It also put me in a weird situation because more often then not, families that had both parents or parents that were working I had to not choose and it sucks because in a way they are being punished for doing the right thing. Are we then rewarding those that do not work or even try to work? It is something I am struggling to with. It can be very disheartening to hear about a mother who just had her fifth child with another man who is not the father of the last four and she has not worked in over two years. I have decided that I may not understand the situation and while I believe my frustration is legit it will not fix the problem. Therefore, I am just going to keep going and love the child that I work with and hope I can have even the smallest impact on their life so they will make better decisions in the future. If I can make one kid smile tomorrow then I did my job right.
"You are a small but important part of God's magnificent plan"
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