God has a specific call for each of His children

Wow, so it has officially been over two months since I arrived in Syracuse scared and unsure of what to expect. Last week for prayer I hung up all the goals we created as a group back the first few days of getting to know each other. First,it really made me miss the Costa Rican volunteers because they helped us create the goals and it was done when we were one big group of ten. It also allowed me to really reflect on what I am doing here in Syracuse, what I want to get out of this year, and what I should do after this year. This year so far has been a time of adjusting, to a new city, new friends, a new job etc. and it has definitely had its ups and downs but overall going well. However, I came into this year with high expectations for myself and therefore I think I need to start really working on living simply and to challenge myself so that I can get all that this year can provide. With this being said, I am going to start trying to work on just my stipend each month and not tap into my savings unless some type of emergency comes up. I also want to work on how I use my free time. I want to read more,start going to the gym, write in this blog more often so I do not have to write novels each entry but instead short and hopefully more interesting blogs etc etc. While I say this things come up and I may not go for a run every day or read a book a week but if I get a chapter done, I am making process. This year is really helping me to appreciate the small things like a conversation with a housemate, a short walk, or a phone call from an old friend and these things are what makes this year so great. I have the time to do it.

On a different note, I have really been thinking about what I want to do next year. Before coming to Syracuse, I was torn between higher ed or politics, and now while those things still interest me I love the work i am doing with the kids esp. the children with disabilities, something I did not have experience with before this year. I do not know what all this means other then I am going to have to do some serious discerning and praying to decide what the next step is.

So speaking of work, it has been rough lately. Not my children, I adore them esp the preschoolers that run at me and rap themselves around my legs when I enter the classroom to say hello, telling me they missed me, they love me or that i am pretty ha, it is surely a greeting I could never get sick of. It is more of issues with co-workers, and paperwork. A little bit of a communication issue with some of the people I work with but we are working on it so hopefully that will improve. It is more the paperwork that involved me having to choose which families to sponsor this year for Christmas, which was almost an impossible task because I feel like everyone in my program could use the extra help. It also put me in a weird situation because more often then not, families that had both parents or parents that were working I had to not choose and it sucks because in a way they are being punished for doing the right thing. Are we then rewarding those that do not work or even try to work? It is something I am struggling to with. It can be very disheartening to hear about a mother who just had her fifth child with another man who is not the father of the last four and she has not worked in over two years. I have decided that I may not understand the situation and while I believe my frustration is legit it will not fix the problem. Therefore, I am just going to keep going and love the child that I work with and hope I can have even the smallest impact on their life so they will make better decisions in the future. If I can make one kid smile tomorrow then I did my job right.

"You are a small but important part of God's magnificent plan"

prayer

Today we went to St. Lucy's for mass. It was only the three girls because two of the boys went home for the weekend and Matt decided to go next door for service. Anyways, I am wondering how I can even begin to describe this service to those that have not been there. It is definitely is not for everyone, it is a very progressive parish in which people of all different backgrounds gather to praise the lord. At first it was a little overwhelming. We walk in and are instantly greeted by the priest who tells us there are three seats right up front for us, these seats are literally like two feet from where he presides (which is not on the alter but instead at the same level as the people) He then introduces us to the church and we tell everyone our names and where we are from. As the mass goes on, I notice there is a women who signs the mass for a multiple of deaf parishioners. It was awesome watching them participate in mass and other people trying to follow along with the signs. It made me want to learn. All in all I believe this mass was different, unique and a bit much for even me to handle at points but an experience i think everyone should have.

The best part of the mass was the diversity. We have been church hopping trying to find one that works for us and one thing that has been hard is many of the masses are full of older Caucasian men and women with little to no diversity. In a city like Syracuse that has people of all different colors, size and shapes it is disappointing to see how segregated the populations really are. At mass today there were African Americans, Hispanics, Caucasians, people that were deaf, handicapped, a midget and more. It was very powerful. This is how I imagine God wants it to be. Everyone together praying and singing in his name. Yes, there were certain traditions that this mass did not follow and yes some it may have not been actually by the book but everyone there was respectful and came there for one reason. This community all loved one another and prayed together. I just wish more people could be so open to differences.

My final comment about mass today is that I really enjoyed they had pictures and quotes of leaders and hereos from our times under the Stations of the Cross, they ranged from Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa to Dorothy Day. These people give me hope that we too can make change, even if it is one person at a time.

It is easier to have faith that God will support each House of Hospitality and Farming Commune and supply our needs in the way of food and money to pay bills, than it is to keep a strong, hearty, living faith in each individual around us - to see Christ in him. - Dorothy Day

time flies by

So its been a week since I have really sat down and wrote in my blog and it has been such a great week. I will attempt to back track. Thursday went apple-picking twice with the pre-k kids and had a blast. Spent some quality time with my new little friend to make sure thing were going okay and at the end of the day he cried and told me he didn't want to go home yet, which of course broke my heart. Overall great day with the pre-k as they continue to make me smile and laugh.One of the children who only speaks Spanish is also helping me to relearn Spanish. Friday was hectic but fun. The best part of the day was spending some time with one of the girls in my group. She is very quiet and so I didnt know much about her and I took time on Friday to find out a little more of her story. I have decided that is my goal. Each day to learn a little more about my kids, beyond their name and their school. I learn so much from them this way and find their stories so interesting but at the same time give them the attention that they are craving.

This weekend was amazing. While I am adjusting to Syracuse and enjoy my housemates I have also been dealing with just feeling lonely. I miss both FU and home and I hate not having any real friends to run off to when I am sad, bored or need to vent. For all these reasons and more this weekend was exactly what I needed. I got to see Jamie, Rach and Stringer. It was awesome. Didn't do anything too crazy, went to bars, had a few drinks but mostly just talk and caught up on each others lives. It really was great. However, this meant coming back late Sunday afternoon-hung over, exhausted and with alot to do.

This week we are trying to finalize everything for the reunion on Saturday where over 80 people are coming to celebrate the Francis Corp program. I am so excited to meet the former FC's and see what they are doing now. So outside of work I have spent much of my free time shopping for, organizing or decorating for this event. Work the last three days to sum them up because dinner is about ready and i am starving- Monday-tried new groups to fix the numbers problem we are having, it failed. Tuesday- took my group apple-picking despite the rain and it was wonderful. One of the kids J came with us too- he is in the respite program and I simply adore him. Wednesday-homework day got a chance to talk to one of my students who I never realized barely spoke English so I am helping him with that. Today I went with the 5-6 on a field trip to the Art Museum which was fun.

A lot on my mind about this week but we have visitors on their way-two staying tonight and three for both Friday and Saturday so I do not know when I will have a chance to write but I will I swear!

its been a long week

So much has happened in the last week that I should be writing about but I am exhausted and so I figured I would just add some pictures of my adventures from work and I will fill everyone in tomorrow =) good night